Ineffable Ontological Detanglement .: Introspective Assistance & Mental Analysis Manual
Even cognitive functioning level three uniformly has a thought loop disorder, it's running in the back of your semi-conscious at all times and it's very uncomfortable. You don't see how uncomfortable they are until you release every last one of them. They're all based within your repressed memories, however sometimes you can have a pretty good idea what they are. Most of the time they're mysterious, you have to begin unravelling your life of repressed memories first.
Sometimes they're fucking confusing, because you picked them up between ages three and seven as a cognitive functioning level three living amongst the world of cognitive functioning level two attempting to decipher their meaning, their thinking, attempting to land on what it is exactly they think of you. Looking at the wall of real and the wall of perceived and attempting to reconcile the real into the perceived in order to help them see you, help you see them. Your options are pure false, turn into the evil secrets monster they know you to be, or cut off 98% of it and give them a little taste, eventually learn to mellow it and keep it to yourself, you know when to give nothing you know when to give pure false and you know when to give the cut off and hopefully you maintain enough of the real you within the ego reinforcement society network that evil secrets monster can never crash down upon you.
It goes to really weird places of semi-conscious wandering release of compartmentalization complexes, like some kid at a sleepover party who usually thinks you're really fantastic comes up to you as you sleep and whispers really weird half word delirium babble in your ear because she thinks you're a MONSTER, a MONSTER.
The most significant is "You will never die until you are dead." You've met moments of in God's hands. I personally had quite a few, this one obviously being the most major, the most blatant. This one being the biggest one that still fits within perceived reality. One of them is pretty funny, apparently my mother attempted to hard force me into ballerina academy and I just went aplPHT! and had to be resuscitated. Oh dear, apparently I owe somebody something here, I got glassed by a twenty year old when I was nine. I can do a way funnier just for no reason, I'm gonna make sure your wife is home. Okay Julia, for that one you're clean, Jesus, it's fine, that's a perfectly adorable angry response to being hit with a book, fucking BLEED OUT POINT with a fucking ruler, OKAY. Okay Stephanie yes pile onto it and strangle okay yeah you're adorable I guess you've all decided you need to mean it, Laura however with the coming at my chest with a knife starting to carve your initials you're starting to play with the limits of ridiculous. You're a Mennonite. No Sandra that's not okay no means no. There's a fucking SNAKE, and a fucking BEAR, FUCK, bear out does that one but that's not so much within perceived reality God just tames the bear away, GO AWAY BEAR, looks like about one in five people get that one. This is getting fucking STUPID. Your best bet in the bear situation is to find your way through the frightened pathetic whimper into the realization the bear wants you to match the bravado and mean it, you can take it, bear means no escape I'm about to die, I can take it. Fight the feelings of "And this means I win please?" as hard as you can.
Oh yeah Miami. That's what you do to people who have to stop over in Miami? For not being from Miami? Yah cau we don like rest America we shoot up da cabs. I'm from Canada, I'm just stopping over on the way to Cancun. Fucking cabbie has to give me a gun. This is getting fucking STUPID. I got a few in the back, it seems every visit to America gets me about killed.
Oh and THIS one, those are pretty stupid this is pretty stupid.
And then the one where I almost drowned at Grand Beach that by comparison doesn't even seem that bad that seemed to establish the eyes closed hallucinatory flash system, where I get hammered with repeating symbols such as hearts and stars that grow fat and warm and loving and it's okay and then flash shriveled and dead and withered and dead. My thought loop says I will never die until maybe age seventeen, when I almost drowned in the Ocean near San Francisco, my father resuscitated me, after he started crying "My boy!!" I said "Relax dad, it's just a game, it's just life. You know this." It hammer smacked him in the head so hard that later during the trip he almost attacked me, like two or three times. I know he can take me, what am I at this point I'm like orange belt in karate, he's a fucking peace officer. I got da' one 'dats Asian, the useless starter base, it goes careful slow hayaa straight forward in front of my fa-DAH!! I basically had to restrain with the authoritative fear demand. What if you murder your son psychology authoritativeness, please don't murder your son sad whimper authoritativeness.
Dad, I know psychology better than society knows psychology, this one would be perceived poorly. In the future we know what to do in these situations, but, in the future we probably shouldn't have too much of these situations.
Now IKNOWIWILLNEVERDIEUNTILIAMDEADIKNOWIWILLNEVERDIEUNTILIAMDEADIKNOWIWILLNEVERDIEUNTILIAMDEAD.
It's handled on both ends of the God systems. You can relax the thought loop.